


unrequited

by schwanenkoenigin



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, Rejection, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 21:41:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13199109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schwanenkoenigin/pseuds/schwanenkoenigin
Summary: two very short unrelated fics in which lauren is in love with camila, but camila isn't in love with lauren.(written because i hate myself.)





	1. under the mistletoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on two prompts from the 'unrequited love starters' list on tumblr:  
> • “you’re more like a sibling, to be honest”  
> • “can i have just one kiss?”
> 
> both requested by [my sort of bff](/users/captainseattle) ily

The second she hears Dinah start cheering and hollering, Lauren knows she’s screwed. It’s Christmas soon, and because of that exact reason, she really doesn’t need to look up to know what’s going on. What she’s just accidentally gotten herself into.

Suddenly, her cheeks flush. Her body grows hot, tingles. Suddenly, she’s suffocating. Taking a breath doesn’t help get her heartbeat back in check. Neither does rhythmically clenching and unclenching her fists to get rid of the tension that’s settled in her entire body.

Finally–after only few seconds of standing there that feel like hours–she’s gained some of the control over her body back, and she dares look up at the ceiling.

She curses.

Of course. It _is_ a mistletoe.

Huffing, she lets her eyes wander from the plant to the girl she finds herself under it with.

Camila.

Sweet Camila.

Beautiful, stunning Camila. Who’s nervously biting her lip, very obviously avoiding Lauren’s gaze. Beautiful, stunning Camila whose words from a few days earlier still echo in Lauren’s mind.

Lauren knows Camila is doing this to protect her, but it’s useless. She’s already a mess.

You see, a few days ago, after finally building up the courage to tell Camila she’s been in love with her for ages–and actually feeling good about it–she went up to the object of her affection. All confident. All ready. Thinking they might have a chance with each other. And everything went well. She explained herself, didn’t stutter too much, didn’t cry–simply comfessed her feelings.

Only to be hit with a, “I’m _so_ sorry, Lo, but I don’t like you like that.”

Lauren could feel her own face fall, could feel that confidence leave her body.

Could feel her heart break. In the most painful way.

And, what’s worse, she could sense how incredibly uncomfortable the situation had made Camila.

It had taken Lauren years and years to gather up the guts to admit her deepest secret, and now it had all blown up in her face.

“You’re more like a sibling to me, to be honest,” Camila’d said, cheeks red, an embarrassed smile on her lips.

Lauren bitterly remembers that that sentence had hurt her the most. Had kicked her while she was already down. She remembers swallowing, trying to make something of the words.

(She’s still trying to process them.)

She knows, in a way, that she shouldn't– that those– that Camila’s words mean that, right now, she absolutely shouldn’t ask for– but she–

It’d be _once_.

Really–

She can’t stop the question from escaping her lips. So, sucking in a breath, she asks, “Can I have just one kiss?” It sounds desperate, pleading, bitter. All at once. It’s completely out of line, she knows this; she shouldn’t have done it, she knows this; but– God, what’s _one_ kiss?

A _lot_ , as it turns out.

After carefully contemplating the words, Camila eventually agrees, _nods_ –maybe to give Lauren closure–and the three girls in the background–who apparently have no clue what’s been going on between them–become quiet as Camila and Lauren’s lips connect in a kiss.

They think it’s a _happy_ kiss.

A _once-in-a-lifetime_ kind of kiss.

When, in reality, it’s awkward. _Plain_ awkward. _Painful_. For _both_ of them, even if for different reasons.

Dinah, Ally, and Normani are _completely_ silent as they watch the interaction, careful not to ‘miss’ anything; and the silence in the room makes it possible for Lauren to hear her heart break further. She hears the cracks grow into gaping holes, hears the broken pieces shatter down onto the ground.

Where she’s waiting for them to embrace her pale body.

Camila walks away after the kiss, visibly pitying her, but not looking back once. She doesn’t care for the broken pieces of Lauren’s heart.

She doesn’t care for a broken _Lauren_.

She just runs.

And Lauren _lets_ her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked it pls leave kudos thank u for reading


	2. friends with benefits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> off of the 'unrequited love starters' list on tumblr:  
> • “i don’t want to be just friends with benefits anymore”  
> • “fuck you for toying with my emotions like that” (slightly altered)
> 
> first one requested by [this one here](/users/captainseattle) and number two requested by @rashavince on tumblr thanks ily

Camila is completely out of breath. Sweaty. Naked. But it’s not unusual after one of their sessions. “Damn,” she says, “that was amazing.” She lets out a puff of air, highlighting the words she’s just said.

Turning towards her, an equally out of breath Lauren replies, “Yeah, yeah, it was.” Her tone of voice indicates something else, though. She doesn’t seem as satisfied, not as content, not as overwhelmed as Camila is feeling. Not like she usually is.

Camila picks up on it immediately. “Is something wrong?” She looks at her intently, knitting her brow.

There’s silence following. Lauren bites her lip and closes her eyes. “No,” she obviously lies.

“I don’t believe you.”

The older girl shakes her head. “I’m fine, Camila.”

It’s sharp. Too sharp. Camila flinches. “It doesn’t sound like it,” she probes gently. As she tries to touch Lauren in a trusting manner, the girl moves further away, to the end of the bed. “Hey, talk to me.”

Inhaling soundly, Lauren closes her eyes. “It’s just– it's–” She exhales shakily. “You’re right. There is something wrong,” she admits quietly, “I just– I–” she groans– “I don’t want to just be friends with benefits anymore, okay? It’s been on my mind for a while. I just couldn’t say. I still don't– I–”

The confession hits Camila, to say the least. She’s speechless for a minute or two. Opens her mouth a few times to respond, but she can’t think of anything. Truth is, she doesn’t feel the same. When they started out with this– this  _thing_ , they agreed there wouldn’t be any feelings involved. It's– Camila thought it would be simple. All she wanted was sex. It’s still all she wants, having realized she’s aromantic a while ago. But of course it– “This is like in the movies,” she laughs bitterly, “you just– I don't–” She finally looks up. And is met with the most heartbreaking sight. Lauren–small, breaking apart, silently crying.

It's a Lauren she hasn’t known before.

A Lauren she wished she’d never have had to see.

Closing her eyes, Camila thinks about her next step. What can she do? Should she ask Lauren to leave?

Lauren looks at her, then, and when Camila opens her eyes again, their eyes meet. She breathes in, repeats, “Lauren… I just– I _can’t_.”

She expects Lauren to leave the room. The house. Expects her to tell her goodbye. Expects her to get up, get dressed, never call her again.

What she doesn’t expect is for her eyes to darken considerably, for her eyebrows to knit, for her features to sharpen.

“Lo– what–” she starts to–

“I hate you, Camila Cabello,” the girl spits out, effectively interrupting her. “Yeah, I hate you. I hate you for toying with my feelings for months. You can’t kiss me like I’m the only one in the world, fuck me like I mean everything to you, and then–” she moves off of the bed, puts on her clothes.

Camila does the same. She feels too vulnerable.

“I don’t get it. Why don’t I– we– this was–” Lauren groans. “This isn’t right.”

Trying to calm her, Camila moves closer. Maybe she can– maybe– “Lauren, please– we said–” She reaches out to–

“I know what we said,” Lauren huffs, “but I thought–” Suddenly, her head sinks. Her posture changes again. “Yeah, no, I– I’m sorry. I’m sorry for reacting like this.” When she looks up, Camila looks at her again, and she’s about sure Lauren means it. They both sigh, if for different reasons. “I– I should just go.”

Camila wants to say _no_. She does. But it– she knows it would just lead to– to more complications. So she apologizes. It’s no more than a dejected, “I’m sorry,” though. Nothing would make Lauren feel better, anyway, and she knows this.

“Yeah,” Lauren says, “I know.”

One last thing crosses Camila’s mind, and she says, “There’s someone out there who’s better for you, Lo.”

Collecting the last of her things, Lauren shakes her head. Then, she opens the door. Turns around to face Camila one more time. “Maybe.” With that, she steps out into the hallway, and closes the door behind her.

Camila is left broken. She’s not the one having suffered rejection. She’s _merely_ the one who rejected. Had to reject.

Yet she feels worse than she ever has before. And she can’t help but wonder why nobody ever cares for those who are unfortunate enough not to reciprocate someone else’s feelings.

It’s unfair.

She knows she probably shouldn’t feel like this, left alone, like a _victim_ , but she does.

Yeah, it’s incredibly unfair.


End file.
